The lost ones
by haveyoumetmissjones
Summary: Sharpay Evans returned after summer break, with no Ryan in tow. Also gone were the sparkles, and smiles that she normally carried with her. Why? chapter 12!
1. Somethings not right

**The lost ones. **

**6:30 am, 1****st**** September**

The alarm clock rang in her ear, a shrill reminder that the brother who would normally be waking her up by jumping up and down on her bed, throwing water at her, and generally being a pain in the arse, wasn't there to do so.

Instead she dragged herself out of bed, and into the ensuite bathroom, to get ready for the day ahead. 4 weeks ago, she would have spent half an hour in the shower, singing into her apple shampoo. Water bills were not a worry in the Evans household. Today however, she just _showered._ No dance routines, no singing, just mundanely washing her hair. Towelling herself dry, she wandered into her dressing room, shielding her eyes slightly at the dazzling _sharpayness_ of the room. All glitter and pink, with the words "There are no small parts, just small actors" emblazed on one wall. Studded with rhinestones no less. And Sharpey pretty much hated it. 4 weeks ago she had loved it, but now, she couldn't stand to be in there. She selected her outfit as quickly as she could, and ran away from the land of full length mirrors and shiny clothes. Sharpey hadn't looked in a mirror for 4 weeks.

Pulling on her boot cut jeans and one of Ryan's hooded sweatshirts, which he only wore in the house of course, Sharpay realised that she didn't need to get up as early as she used too, she was in no hurry to fit in a 45 minute dressing ritual, which included trying approximately 42 different outfits, and then discarding 41 of these, and her 30 minute make-up and hair regime. Normally she would apply 4 coats of mascara, foundation, powder, eyeliner, blusher, lipgloss, eye shadow, and concealer, followed by the blow drying, curling, and plumping of her waist length golden hair. No make up was worn, as it would only get rubbed off. No intricate hairstyle was created, as she knew that her new habit of running her hands through her hair every 10 minutes would ruin this. So a simple bun would have to suffice. She grabbed the first hand bag she could find, a plain black tote, which was fine by her, and threw in the essentials; phone, keys, and wallet.

She was sorted for the day.

She had at least an hour until she needed to leave for school, so decided to watch some crappy breakfast TV. On her way downstairs, she passed her mother's bedroom. Pausing, she went to knock on the door, but a stifled sob from inside made her walk on by. She couldn't cope with that right now. She couldn't really cope with anything.

Down in the kitchen, she diced some fruit, and threw it in the blender. Smoothies were the only type of nutrition her body could take at the minute. Pouring the liquid into the first cup she could find, she settled down in front of the plasma screen, and watched spongebob squarepants. In a strange way, it bolstered her for the day she faced. She could just see Ryan and herself sitting there in their pyjamas on Saturday mornings, laughing their 17 year old faces off. Just the thought of his smile, his laugh, and his confidence oozed into her tired body. She was ready for the day.

She didn't have the radio on whilst driving to east high. She couldn't face the music. She drove in silence, not even thinking more than she really had to. Pulling into the car park, she felt sick. She'd 

heard about nerves, yet never experienced them before. She supposed that this sequence of astonishing acrobatics her stomach was performing was a sign of nerves.

It was when walking up the steps to the main entrance of East High that she started shaking, and it was pushing open the doors that she started hyperventilating. But she knew that this moment would never get any easier, however much she prayed it would. On the way to her locker, Sharpay Evans passed the wildcats, along with the assorted taggers on. Everyone took a step back, as someone yelled a witty comment about "the ice queen" of east high, asking where her lapdog was. Asking if she'd even driven away even her own brother. Expecting a witty and cutting retort, they were shocked when she paled and walked as quickly as she could towards her locker, which was, quite unfortunately next to that of one Troy Bolton, king of the wildcats, so she didn't escape the remarks. She kept her head down, her eyes narrowed, mentally deflecting all the insults. When a tear escaped her eye, troy noticed, and nudged her,

"Hey, what's up? You don't normally let these Wildcats wind you up!" It was said so sweetly that Sharpay almost began to believe that he cared. But she knew he didn't. She knew he was just after the latest gossip.

"I'm fine Bolton, ok? No good stories around here." With that she dropped her books, to jeers from the rest of the team, and she let out a small scream as she bent down to pick them up.

"Hey, Sharpay! You clash with your locker now! What a disaster!" Some unknown jeerer called. They were right, with her red jumper and pink locker arguing. The locker was so _old sharpay_. She didn't like it. It wasn't her anymore. She began to rip the laminate plastic off the metal box, cutting her fingers in the process. She screamed like a banshee, continuing to rip as hot tears cascaded down he face. It was like time had stopped for the other students in that corridor. All were fascinated by the spectacle of Sharpay Evans losing it in the middle of the hall. She was sobbing now, and even though she'd torn all the plastic off, it still wasn't enough. She kept on, and on until her fingers were bleeding from being scraped against the door of her now plain locker. She wanted to remove every trace of the Sharpay Evans everyone knew, and no one loved. No one laughed, everyone was too shocked to even move, let alone laugh. Sharpay felt a pair of strong arms wrap around her frail body, and though at first she tried to resist, she let them pull her away from the growing throng, and outside.

The unknown arms circled sharpay, and held her close and tight whilst she sobbed onto the attached shoulder. His hands rubbed circles on her back, and he lent down to whisper in her ear,

"I don't want gossip. I don't want to be the hero, and I don't want to be the 'special guy' people confide in. I just want you to be ok, thats all."

Sharpay looked up to see troy Bolton looking expectantly at her. _He_ was the one that pulled her away? _He_ was the one who had whispered in her? It was too much for the already overloaded mind of Sharpay Evans, and untangling herself from his arms, turned on her heal and fled, leaving troy with a mouthful of unsaid cries. He knew he had to let her go, so she could find her own way back.


	2. Drivings good for the soul

She really couldn't be bothered to stay at school, even if it was the first day back. It didn't feel right. And anyway, she didn't think anyone would miss her. If they did, it would only be for a few minutes. She was fed up with this. She wanted to be happy. She didn't want to be herself, but she still wanted to be happy. But she felt that being happy would be being disloyal to Ryan. After so many years of being so, she couldn't bear to do it anymore.

She'd never realised how much she took him for granted anymore. How much she would miss teasing him about his hats, and his certain "gay tendencies". His toasted sandwiches, stuffed with marshmallows, chocolate spread and any other sweet stuff that could be found lying around in their kitchen. They'd burn your mouth terribly, but it was worth it. Sharpay tried making some, a few days ago, but they tasted like a mud pie she'd once made when she was 3.

She didn't want to go home either. Assorted aunties/neighbours/single money grabbing men would be there. Not consoling her mother. She didn't want that. No, they would be out for the gossip, what had _really _happened that night. And neither of them was willing to spill. Not because they were ashamed, or embarrassed. There was nothing to be ashamed or embarrassed about. No, it was just too damn painful. Sharpay was far too proud to let anyone see her cry. At least old Sharpay was.

The more she thought about it, the more she realised she didn't have anywhere to go. No best friend's houses, whose mothers would be there to give her a hug and some cookies, and say "Oh, Sharpay, you've always been like a daughter to me." She was never invited round people's houses enough to become one of the family. She thought briefly about going to the park, maybe have a swing, get some ice cream. But too many memories at the park.

So she just drove, and carried on driving until it got dark. She wasn't in a hurry to be anywhere.


	3. Feeling quite unfabulous

Back at East High, students were settling nicely back into the swing of things. The Scholastic Decathlon team were already studying for their upcoming contest, and the Wildcats basketball team were back in the gym, determined to win everything in their senior year. And to show any college scouts watching just how good they really were. And their coach felt just the same way. He felt closer to this team than any other, probably because they had worked harder than any other. All the past Wildcats had played basketball for fun, and a way to keep fit. These guys though, basket ball was their passion. Their life. Their dream. And they were going to the top. So today, despite it being their first practise back, they were working harder than ever. The large gym was filled with the squeaks of sneakers against the laminate wood floor, and the hammering of balls as the boys went through their drills. Every player was giving it their all, sweat dripping down their faces, muscles aching. Every player except one. Troy. And this really pissed the coach off.

"What the hell troy? YOU'RE the captain. YOU'RE the playmaker. Get off your ass and act like it. Pretend it's one of those musicals you're so caught up in." With that he stormed off. Troy didn't really care though. He knew his dad was just ragging on him because he wanted Troy to win one of the scholarships. College cost a lot. A lot more than a high school basketball coach could afford. Truth was, Troy was thinking about Gabriella. His girlfriend, singing partner, and co-captain of the scholastic decathlon team. And the whineiest girl he had ever met. Nothing was good enough for her. He didn't spend enough time with her, he wouldn't leave her alone. Her coffee was too hot, her coffee was too cold. His shirt clashes with her dress. His shirt matches her dress. Everything was just wrong wrong wrong in Gabriella's mind. He was only still with her because he had no idea how to end it. Before they got together, when they were just friends, it was cool. And all his friends loved her. Their whole clique loved her. But then again they didn't have to deal with calls at 3 frigging AM to see if he would go over to her house tomorrow. They didn't see how jealous she got when he talked to a cheerleader. They didn't see how obsessive she was about planning _his_ future. He was going to join the red hawks, majoring in history. Then he would join the lakers, whilst she was a singer blah blah blah. It did his head in. He wanted to plan his life by himself. He didn't want anyone to do it for him. And he certainly didn't want to spend the rest of his life with Gabriella Montez. The thought literally sent shivers down his spine.

He was also thinking of another girl. Sharpay. The look on her face when she was walking away positively haunted him. Sharpay Evans did not cry, and it must have taken some real blow to make her do so. Sharpay had witty comebacks, a dazzling smile, and enough glitziness to dazzle Stevie Wonder. It scared him that someone so strong, someone who looked like she was made out of, well, ice, could melt so easily. It meant that it could happen to anyone.

When the bell rang, he was the first to enter the changing rooms. He was dimly aware of conversation around him, but his mind was just focused on her. He was really worried about her. When he entered the cafeteria, he was instantly being harassed by Gabriella. He ignored her. She got in a huff and stalked away. He liked it. He ignored everything that afternoon, his teachers, his friends, even Chad repeatedly hitting him with a basketball. He didn't do it on purpose, his mind was just preoccupied.

At the end of the day he jumped into his Chevy and drove straight home. Normally they'd all head to rays pizza, 2 blocks away from East High, but today was different. Everything was different today. Not bad different, but not good different either. When he got back to his house, he got his phone out, and ran Sharpay.

"HEEEEYYYY! This is the one and only Sharpay Evans, and either I'm FAAARRR too busy being FABULOUS , or you just aren't worth my time! So leave your message and maybe I'll get back to you, depending on how much of a reject you are! Love ya!" Troy couldn't help but laugh at this answer phone greeting. Where had that girl gone? Because it wasn't the girl he whose ear he was whispering into earlier.

Sharpay looked at her phone. It was the 3rd missed call from Troy, but still she didn't answer. She didn't want to speak to him. To speak to anyone really. It felt wrong talking to people about it, telling them what was wrong. It was like treachery to Ryan. This was personal, between their family. Although they didn't appear to really have much of a family anymore. But she was determined to preserve what little she had. She had too; no one else was holding it all together. It was like she was the glue, but what use is having the glue if there aren't enough pieces to fix it? That was what she felt like. Like a vase, cracked in two and the second half managed to get away, into the land of lost things, and the lost ones. She hated this feeling of being so incomplete. When she sang 'bop to the top' there was no second part. There was no harmony. She was just there, singing solo. And it sent shivers down her spine that this was how it was going to be from now on. She would be on her own, standing on stage, shaking. That is if she ever got back up on stage.

Her phone rang again. Her ringtone used to be the version of 'You are the Music in me' that she and Troy had sung, having recorded that rehearsal. Now it was just the normal 'ring ring' of a normal telephone, of a normal girl.

She still didn't answer. She knew how horribly driving whilst on the phone could end up.

Again, review?


	4. Armed and Ready

Sharpay couldn't remember going to bed, but she knew she must have made it there herself when she woke the next morning, there was no chance that her 89 pound mother, also known as anorexic Annie, would have been able to bring her inside. Sharpay loved her mother to pieces, and they found that they had a closer relationship than many mothers and daughter, but her desire to be stick thin, perfect did Sharpay's head in.

She decided that it was time. Time to look in the mirror. Face her reflection for the first time since the... Well just since. She swept the cloth that covered the full length mirror aside, and studied the unfamiliar girl standing there. She didn't look physically _that_ different. They could definitely be sisters. Well, cousins. But this cousin was the one with the hard life. The one who was a bit downtrodden. This girls eyes had no sparkle, no depth. Just a shallow pool of hazel. No happiness, warmth, just a cold gleam. Underneath the eyes were bags. Huge bags. Sharpay wondered if that was where everything inside her was being stored. All the tears, all the screams, all the desperate desires to smash everything in her room. How was it fair that her insignificant possessions, clothes, jewellery, make up, how was it possibly fair that all this, this crap was fine, perfect in fact, whereas the one thing that she wanted, no, needed in tact wasn't? It was like losing a tooth, the process of losing a tooth. She tooth was just hanging on. By a thread of gum. And two things could happen. It could miraculously fall into place, and everything would be fine. She would have her winning smile, the right combination of teeth. Or she could lose it. Forever. There would be a gap in her perfect smile. Except if she lost this, it was irreplaceable. There would be no cosmetic surgeon to fill the gap. There would be no tooth fairy waiting to leave a reward under her pillow. There would be... nothing. The thought scared her. It chilled her to the bone. But then the gap in the smile wouldn't matter. At all. Because this girl, this pale, thin, frightened girl had no smile. She just had a plain shadowy face. There was one distinctive feature though. Hidden. Just at her hairline, sat a gash, 4 inches long. It was just healing, and it was sure to leave a scar.

Sharpay couldn't stand to look at herself like this anymore. It ashamed her. After being told to be so strong so many times, it ashamed her that she wasn't. She really wasn't. She was so weak, crumbling apart in front of her own eyes. She had to make herself strong. The first step, Sharpay decided, was to have a full say at East High. She got ready much the same way as she did yesterday, but in her bag this time, was her secret weapon.

Pulling up, yet again, at the school, she drew the weapon, poised ready to use it. Her iPod. Sticking the buds right in her ear, and turning up Head Automatica as loud as they were willing to go. And she was ready. She marched up the steps to East High, deftly ignoring any catcalls and insults. It was easy, she didn't hear them in the first place. Neither did she hear Troy calling her name. And Troy didn't see the ear buds, so of course thought that Sharpay was just ignoring him.

In all her lessons Sharpay sat at the front, and looked straight ahead. She did her work, and tried to avoid drawing attention to herself. Little did she know that by being so unlike her normal self, she was drawing more attention than before. During the breaks between lessons, she kept the headphones jammed in. During lunch she avoided the cafeteria, choosing to eat in her dressing room behind the auditorium. Luckily she had her free period last thing on a Tuesday, so she could go and do whatever she liked. And what she liked to do was do go make a few visits.

Troy, however had no hope of a peaceful day. Upon reaching his locker, after wild Sharpay chase, he met a very baffled Chad. And a very pissed Gabriella. Chad was baffled for many reasons. One reason was that he was Chad. He was also wondering why the captain of their basketball team seemed so off yesterday. And why his best friend, who was going out with another one of his best friends, was chasing the girl no one liked. At all. He couldn't understand any of this. But his thoughts would have to wait. There was someone who needed to talk to Troy more than anyone.

Gabriella was mighty pissed off. As Gabriella usually was with Troy. For various reasons. But today it was because of his ignoring of her yesterday. And she also had an issue with the chasing of Sharpay.

"You're meant to be MY boyfriend. You're also meant to be chasing ME, not her! Anyway what would you want to do with some washed up pop star wannabe who looks like she's been in the tumble dryer?" This was it. This had really hit Troy's last nerve.

"Gabriella, will you just shut up?" She looked shocked. She launched into a tirade of threats, names, and swear words. And Troy ignored it, and began walking away from her.

"Troy Bolton! If you walk away from me right now, we are over. Properly. For good!"And yet Tory still walked away, until the screams became a memory. A fond memory.

But Troy's good day wasn't set to last. Yet again Sharpay downright ignored him, and his friends spent all day moaning at him about Gabriella. Were they getting back together, what was going on, why did he finish with her. To be honest, it was absolutely none of their business. He spent lunchtime trying to find Sharpay, looking all over for her. Her Pink Mustang was still in the parking lot, so she must have still been in school. But he had no idea where. He ended up sitting on the edge of the stage in the auditorium, unaware that she was sitting just a few meters from him.

Yet again basketball practise was terrible. Sharpay Evans was filling his head. Everywhere he looked, all he could see was her. It was messing him up badly. So bad in fact that he fell, for the first time in his basketball playing life. He jumped up to make a basket, and landed awkwardly on his ankle. His dad came rushing over, and checked the damage. In 2 minutes, the ankle had swollen to twice its normal size, and it the pain was excruciating. His Father and Chad helped him hobble to Chad's car, who took him to the hospital. Jack Bolton had to stay behind to lock up the gym and finish practise. When the boys made it to Albuquerque General, Troy sat in the seat of Chad's truck, whilst the afro haired man himself went to fetch Troy a wheelchair. Whilst he waited, he looked around at all the different people coming and going through the hospital doors, from all walks of life, but one girl caught her eye. One petite blonde crying in the arms of her even more petite mother, with the sound of one whose life was being ripped apart. Troy gasped as realised who it was.

"Sharpay." The words crept from his mouth in a whisper so quiet that it was a minute before he realised he'd let them.


	5. Snickers, food for the soul

_Sorry this is up so late you guys! Its my mums birthday, so we went out for a meal so I think that that is a good enough excuse! But yeah, here you go, enjoy, and tell me what you think!_

A week had gone by since Troy saw Sharpay crying outside the hospital, and in that week he hadn't stopped thinking about it. As his ankle was quite badly sprained, troy wasn't attending basketball practise, and was allowed a free period to do pretty much whatever he wanted, provided however, seeing as he was on crutches, it didn't involve moving too much. He'd discovered recently that the seats in the auditorium were pretty comfy, and quite nice to sit and do homework in. If homework could ever be nice that is. He still hadn't seen the increasingly more elusive Sharpay outside of homeroom and English class, and seeing as he had struggled enough looking for her when he was able bodied, he knew that he had no hope now. Phoning wasn't an option either; each time he did the phone went straight through to voicemail, meaning the phone was switched off. And even if it was switched on, everyone had noticed Sharpay's sudden attraction to her iPod, and there was no way that she'd hear her cell phone with the ear buds in. So Troy pretty much gave up. Sharpay obviously didn't want to be found. She obviously didn't want to talk to anyone, so Troy gave her the space that she obviously wanted.

Yet again, unbeknownst to Troy, Sharpay was only a short distance away, in her dressing room. She liked it in here; it was HER room, her own personal room. It wasn't completely pink and tacky, as was Sharpay's bedroom at home; it was quite cooling and peaceful. There was a tatty leather couch in the corner that she had salvaged from the teachers' lounge when it was being refurbished, a mirror with lights, and a light green mini fridge, previously stocked with fruit and fresh water, now restocked with cola, chocolate and, strangely enough, cheese. She couldn't stand the stuff when Ryan was here, but now she loved it. She wasn't quite able to get her head around it. Sharpay no longer cared about her looks, her bun becoming increasingly messy every day, the bags under her eyes growing the more she cried herself to sleep, and her once perfectly manicured talons reduced to a mess the more she chewed them. She was falling apart, mentally and physically. She couldn't control anything in her life anymore, so why bother trying? She was going to get old, alone and afraid without Ryan by her side, so who would care what she looked like? She curled up on the couch, with a snickers bar and her iPod, and she loved it. The feeling of cutting herself off from everything. Everyone.

At lunch the next day, everyone was planning Troy's upcoming birthday celebration. Of course the chief wildcat had to have a massive party, with sex and alcohol, the works. It was going to be at the weekend, at Troy's admittedly huge house. Zeke was of course in charge of food, and Chad (and Chad's older brother) was given the task of procuring the booze for the party. They left at the end of break, with Troy's only task being the guest list. Troy wasn't particularly into handing out invitations, so told everyone that he wanted to invite in person. At the end of the day, there was one person that Troy wanted to invite that he hadn't seen.

Yet again Sharpay Houdini had managed to escape every situation in which she would be potentially made to talk to someone, so Troy decided that it called for action. It was his birthday, and she was (sort of) his friend, and he would damn well invite her to his party. He pulled up at the Evans house half an hour after leaving school. It took a few attempts to find, as he hadn't been to Sharpay's since 10th grade, when she held the most fantastically decadent party. Well it was fantastically decadent until he and Chad had pushed her into her own swimming pool, sending her running into the house in tears. She didn't return to the party after that. The memory stirred Troy's stomach slightly, no wonder she kept running away from him!

As he climbed out of his car, and hobbled towards the door of the mansion. It looked a bit intimidating Troy thought, but then again so did Sharpay and he could usually handle her, so he bit his lip and rang the bell. Whilst he waited for someone to answer the door, he looked around at his surroundings. He could see into the large separate garage opposite, and was filled with a pang of longing for these beautiful cars. He was a bit shocked though to see Mrs Evan's Porsche Cayenne 

smashed up in the corner. It would have taken some knock to do that to a car as well built as the Cayenne. He was interrupted mid thought by the door suddenly opening, revealing Sharpay's mother. He'd met her a few times over the summer when working at Lava Springs, and was shocked at how gaunt she looked. It wasn't just Sharpay that was suffering, or the Cayenne, that had been knocked, it was the whole family.

She smiled at Troy, a smile, Troy noticed, didn't quite reach her eyes. She wasn't smiling to humour him; it was just that she couldn't muster up enough happiness inside her to make a true smile. At least Sharpay doesn't pretend she'd happy, Troy thought. Then he realised he'd just been standing on her doorstep staring at the obviously grief-stricken woman's face.

"Troy, do you want something?" Her voice snapped him out of his reverie.

"Err, yeah sorry! Hi Mrs Evans, is Sharpay about anywhere? I was just going to see if she was ok, and to invite her to this party I was having, but I haven't been able to find her anywhere because of her iPod and the crutches and yeah." Troy realised he was babbling. And shaking whilst babbling. He had no idea why he was so nervous; it was just Sharpay for god's sake! He looked back at Mrs Evans, and thought he saw a brief glimmer of amusement in her high. A very brief glimmer.

"I'm sorry Troy she's not; she's visiting Ryan at the hospital, and then going to leave her father some flowers. I'll make sure to tell her about the party when she gets back, and I'll ask her to ring you, ok?" Ryan, hospital? Dad, Flowers? His brain was struggling to comprehend with this new onslaught of facts.

"Urm, thanks Mrs Bolton, I'll just be off now." He hobbled back to the car, brain working furiously. What the hell had happened to Ryan?

_Can you drive with a sprained ankle? Just realised. For all intents and purposed, lets pretend you can. :)_


	6. Getting it out of the system

_**I am so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so sorry that this is so late, and I am also so so so so so so so so so so so so so sorry that this is such an odd chapter. I'm not too sure about it, but what do you think? As always let me know wonderful reader people!**_

* * *

"_I am so fucking angry with you Ryan Alexander Evans. So so bloody angry. And I'm never angry with you.  
I've been annoyed, sure, a bit pissed off sometimes maybe, but never EVER this angry.  
How could you do this?  
Just leave me behind.  
After everything we've been through together, all the birthdays, all the parties and all the shows.  
Everyone bitching about me and calling me the ice queen.  
Parting for me to walk through.  
You know how much it upsets me how people are scared of me.  
You know it does.  
You know I can never make it through the say without you by my side.  
Without your hand on my shoulder, because you know I can't see because the tears I'm holding in my eyes make everything blurry so you have to guide me the whole way. You know I can't cope when mums like this.  
When she just sits in her room and smokes.  
She only comes out every now and again.  
She looks like a fricking ghost.  
It's like she's just drifting away from me.  
Like that balloon on our 5th birthday.  
I tried and I tried to grab a hold of it but it just got carried away.  
It's exactly the same now.  
How can you leave me to deal with this by myself?  
All the relatives come over, and its oooh poor Ryan this and poor Ryan that, Oh! Sharpay, be a dear and put the kettle on? It's never poor Sharpay.  
Has it occurred to everyone that I lost my daddy, brother, best friend, twin in an instant?  
That I'm losing my mother too?  
It's ok for you.  
You don't know how this feels.  
You just lie there, oblivious to everything, so peaceful.  
I need you so much.  
I need you to just open your eyes and smile at me.  
Say "It's ok Shar, we'll be fine, and it will all be good."  
But you haven't said that have you, so obviously it's not alright, it's not going to be ok, and it won't be good.  
I won't be fine.  
Why won't you just wake up?  
Look at me?  
I need you.  
Can't you see that?  
I'm absolutely nothing without you.  
I'm not an Evans twin anymore.  
I'm just Sharpay Evans, and Sharpay Evans is a pretty horrible person to be right now.  
You guys, your all I have.  
Now Troy Bolton, TROY EFFING BOLTON, is trying to be all nicey nicey, and I want nothing more than to jump into his arms and have him hold me.  
Cry into his shoulder.  
But I can't, I can't care about him, I can't get close to him.  
Because I'll lose him, and I can't lose anyone else.  
I won't lose anyone else.  
It's the auditions for the musical next week.  
We were going to nail it this year.  
We were going to show that einsteinette and lunkhead basket ball boy what acting was.  
What show business was.  
What it was like to get up there and show everyone in that auditorium what it was like to be on that stage and to absolutely love it.  
But I can't even step in the stage without you by my side.  
It's impossible.  
I tried, about a gazillion times, and each time I put my foot there and look out to the empty seats my chest caves in, like its crumpling.  
My head spins and my hands shake, and I just want to cry and cry and I want you to pick me and take me home and tuck me under the covers, and stroke my hair and just be here with me.  
It's like my life is full of empty chairs at the moment.  
In homeroom, and all our classes, I won't let anyone sit in the chair next to me, your chair, because you'll need it again right?  
There's no one watching me when I play the piano, there's no one on the stool next to me to play the top part.  
The computer chair is always empty because you're not there to hog it.  
All the chairs in Daddy's study are unused; I hate the thought of being in there without him.  
He always disliked it so much.  
There isn't anyone lying on the chaise lounge in my dressing room telling me the outfits I choose are too garish, not garish enough, too slutty, and not slutty enough.  
You and mother were the best fashion critics in the world.  
All the chairs in the viewing rooms are discarded.  
I'm the only one who uses the rooms, and I hate that there is no one next to me, throwing pop corn in my mouth, and laughing along to Family Guy with me.  
I need someone there with me.  
I hate being alone.  
I still eat dinner in the dining room table every night.  
Like you wanted, us all to have a meal as a family.  
But I'm the only one there.  
Mother's chair, father's chair, your chair just sit there, unloved.  
But I can't bring myself to sit in them; it's not fair on the chairs.  
They need their owners.  
I need their owners.  
Crazy as this sounds, I even miss mother telling me off for eating your toasted sandwiches and McDonalds.  
Her constant chastising of my diet, telling me that my metabolism will slow WAAAAAY down one day, and I'll end up looking like Aunt Sarah.  
Ew.  
My ears are sore from listening to my iPod so much, but it's the only way I can block out the constant humming and whispering around me.  
I miss talking you know.  
I don't say anything anymore, at all.  
I have no one to say it to. Mothers not going to listen.  
Only you and father, and that's because you have no choice, you can't shut me up.  
Ryan I'm falling apart without you.  
I feel so tired now.  
Holding my head up is too much effort and I feel like I just want to curl up under my comforter and fall asleep forever.  
But every time I close my eyes, I see it over and over again.  
Fathers eyes with no spark, the blood running down your face, the glass everywhere.  
I can't sleep.  
I can't eat, I think I'm dying, but so slowly and horribly.  
I just want this to be over now. Please let it be over.  
I can't handle it anymore, so please please please please wake up.  
If you want me to beg I will! I  
f I have to pray, I definitely will.  
Come back to me RyRy, please.  
I need you so much.  
I miss you."_

Sharpay had been talking for an hour, punctuated by cries. Her voice was hoarse though misuse. She had shouted at her brother, and called him every name under the sun. But it didn't matter, he wouldn't hear.

He was in a coma.

Her twin was in a coma, and there was nothing she could do to wake him up. She'd played him music, sang to him, jumped up and down on his bed. Nothing worked. She'd been told so many times to prepare herself for the worse. How the fuck do you prepare yourself for something like that?

She heard a noise at the door, and turned around. Standing there, tears running down the side of his face, a look of shock in his eyes stood Troy Bolton.

Sharpay ran.


	7. He's not like that

**_Another late one, I know! I have alot of exams at the moment though, which makes things a bit trickier. Reviews would definately cheer me up! Hope this is ok, enjoy!_**

"Sharpay! SHARPAY! Wait, please!" Troy was sprinting after Sharpay as fast as he could, despite being in a lot of pain from his ankle. People were staring at him as they ran through the hospital car park, but he didn't care, he was just too focused on the blonde in front of him, who, despite the seriousness of the situation, he thought should try for the running team. He could hear the sobs falling from her mouth, and he could see her body shaking in front of him, and he knew he had to catch her.

She jumped into the front seat of her mustang, and tried to start the engine, but her hands were shaking too much to even put the keys in the slot. Giving up, she rested her head against the steering wheel, letting the grief overcome her body at last. Troy got in the car, in the passenger seat, and put his arms around Sharpay, holding her close to his chest, and for around ten minutes they sat there in silence, punctuated by the gut wrenching sobs from Sharpay, and the occasional sniff from Troy. Sharpay Evans was strong, stronger than any man he'd ever met. She could be abused, daily, by her peers, but she would never show a crack in her armour, she would always hold her head up high. To be holding her in his arms, to feel every bone sticking out of her body, and to feel the shakes as her soul fractured broke Troy's heart. He wanted to so much to just take everything she was feeling and just put it on his shoulders for a bit; he wanted to carry her burden.

After while, Sharpay's crying had eased up enough for her to talk a bit.

"Why are you here Troy?" This question was whispered so quietly that Troy had a bit of trouble hearing it.

"What that Shar?"

"Don't call me that. Shar. It's what Ryan calls me. Only Ryan can call me Shar. I said why are you here Troy?" She still hadn't removed her face from its hiding place in the crook of Troy's neck. She didn't want to. She didn't to look him in those blue eyes. She didn't want to fall for him. Again. But it was getting too late. Troy shifted uncomfortably in his seat. He hadn't meant for this to happen. He had just wanted to ask her to come to the party, to perhaps say hello to Ryan. He didn't know what had happened.

"Did you just want a nose around? Something to tell the team over practise tomorrow, so you can tease the ice queen so much that she finally melts? Is that it?" She was getting more and more wound up as she spoke, and, fearing that she was going to start crying again; Troy grabbed her and held her close.

"I'm not like that Sharpay. I have never been like that and you know it. I've been fucking worried about you, and for good reason! Look at yourself! You aren't Sharpay anymore. Sharpay says what's bothering her, Sharpay EATS for god's sake. She doesn't hide from everyone, she doesn't avoid people, and she most certainly does not listen to her iPod more than other people!"

"SHUT UP! You don't know what the hell you're talking about ok? You don't know what the hell I've been through. And why the hell should I eat, why the hell should I see people? The only thing I have to listen to is fricking basketball groupies calling me a whore, calling me ice queen and princess! Why on earth should I tell any of you what's going through my head, what's going on? It's none of your damn business, so get the hell out of my car, and leave me the hell alone! What are you? My stalker?" She was hysterical now, every gap in her words was filled by a cry, her face was red, and her eyes her bulging. She burst into tears again. Troy realised that shouting at her earlier probably wasn't the best idea, so he tried again, in his most soothing voice.

"I don't know what I'm talking about, because you won't tell me. I heard you talking to Ryan, you want to tell me. I won't hurt you Sharpay, I promise. You won't lose me, ever. And I wasn't stalking you, I was inviting you to a party, and I went round your house, and your mum told me you were 

here, and here I am. I am so so sorry that you were doing this on your own Shar. Pay. No one will be mean to you again, I can promise you that. You don't have to sit on your own; I'll be here with you. Ok? You don't need to tell me what happened yet, just whenever you feel like it, whenever you are ready, I'll be here. And also for the not eating part? That's fucking ridiculous. I've seen your mum, and she frightened me to death, do you want that?" He was pleased that this comment had gained a small chuckle from Sharpay.

"Why do you want me at your party? I wouldn't exactly be the life and soul of the party you know." Troy was glad that she had stopped yelling now.

"Why wouldn't I want you at my party? You're my friend. My rich friend. Who can get alcohol." Again, Sharpay had awarded him a giggle. He liked it. "I'm sorry I frightened you Pay. I'm so so sorry."

"It's ok. You didn't know." She was back to whispering.

They sat there, clinging on to each other over the gearstick of Sharpay's car, for what seemed like an eternity. Troy was the first to break the silence.

"Anything you want me to do Sharpay, I'll do it. Ok? And whenever you get ready to talk, I'll be here." He felt her nod against his chest.

"Troy?"

"Yeah Pay?"

"Can you take me home? I don't want to drive tonight."

They got out of her car, and made their way slowly over to Troy's truck, walking with Troy's arm protectively around Sharpay's shoulders. She climbed into the passenger seat, and noticing that she was shivering, he got a blanket out of the boot, and wrapped it around the fragile girl in the front. They drove the 20 minute journey in silence, but not an uncomfortable silence. They knew there were things to be said and now was not the time. When the truck made its way up Sharpay's sweeping drive, Troy suggested that he pick her up for school tomorrow, and then take her to the hospital to see Ryan after, and then she could drive herself home. When he got no response, he turned to see the sleeping girl next to him. She looked like she hadn't had rest in months, so, in a move not to wake her up, he scooped her into his arms, as she weighed practically nothing, and rang the bell. A small woman who Troy assumed to be a maid answered, and showed him up to Sharpay's room, where he lay her down carefully on the bed, wrapped up in his blanket. With a soft kiss on her forehead, he was gone.

_Awwwww Troys so nice :)_


	8. Party Pooper

_Ahhhh, longest chapter yet! Enjoy, and as ever review!_

_Oh and you know I dont own high school musical. BUT I own the songs in this :D_

It was Saturday, the day of the party. The party that was meant to be THE party of the year. Troy's birthday party, but his mind was still focused on Sharpay, too much so to focus on a party. He didn't know the procedure for this kind of thing. There probably wasn't a procedure. How many teenage girls, known for their frosty demeanour, had a twin brother in a coma, had a father god knows where, spent their night crying on the basket ball kings shoulder? He shook his head, there was definitely no procedure.

He looked at the clock, the digital display telling him that it was 3 in the afternoon. He'd been lying on his bed thinking about Sharpay for four hours. It was borderline obsessive. It was crazy. A large car pulling up on his drive pulled him out of his reverie. Chad. Damn. His best friend was coming over to set up for the party. Apparently there was to be a designated "make-out" room, the entertainment room was to be set up for movies and games, and rest of the party would be out on the lawn. He swore that Chad was getting far too into this. They were going to block off upstairs, he didn't want his room and his parents room getting trashed. At about 7 o clock they were ready. Chad had set his decks up on the basketball court in Troy's garden; he was DJ for the night. There was a table covered in beer and alcopops, and there was food in the kitchen for everyone. It looked to be a good night. People started arriving at half 7, Zeke, Jason and some of the other guys from the team got a grand theft auto tournament going in the game room, and people were dancing in the garden. The only person not having fun was Troy; his mind was too focused on Sharpay. He'd phoned her, twice, and left messages asking her to come. He wanted her to try having fun. It was worth a shot.

He got his phone out again to dial, and to his surprise she actually answered.

"Turn around." So he did, and there, holding her phone was Sharpay. She was still pale, and looked quite malnourished, but it was a far cry from the girl he'd help whilst she cried last night. Her hair was down, and slightly wavy, she had a hint of eyeliner to make her eyes stand out, and she was dressed in something other than sweats. A short dungaree dress, with a pink tee-shirt underneath, and pink flip flops was perfect for this summer party. She looked beautiful, more so than he'd ever seen. She looked natural. For once she had a smile on, a real one, the fact that it wasn't forced more than made up for how small it was.

"Hey! Wow, you look... wow! I didn't think you'd come!" He was stumbling over his words, his heart was pounding, and his hands were shoved into his jeans pockets so she couldn't see them shaking. It felt good.

"Yeah, well I was just sitting at home, and I though why not? And anyway, I need to face the masses sometime, and where better than at yours? Where you are. Well you would be here; it's your party at your house in your garden. I'm babbling aren't I, oh god this is embarrassing." Her face was turning redder as she spoke, and her hands were flailing everywhere. Troy couldn't help but laugh, the ice queen wasn't meant to get flustered like this. He was about to save her, to say something that would stem the flow of words when...

"Yo! Ice bitch! Who the hell invited you?" Chad, who had by now had a fair bit to drink, had made his way over to the pair. "You think you can just swan in everywhere and grab the attention, but guess what Sharpay, no one fucking likes you!"

"Chad man! What the hell?! She's my friend alright so back off!"

"Since when have you become friends with the frozen whore? Even her own brother can't stand her anymore, that why he's never with her!" At this Sharpay's eyes widened, it was that feeling again. Her chest was caving in, she needed to go, she wasn't wanted. The boys were still arguing, when Troy turned around and noticed she was gone. He realised he must have heard.

"Where's she gone?! Did any of you see?" He was frantic.

"Dude, why do you care? Its none of our business what she does!"

"Chad, her brothers in coma you tosser! He might never wake up. So sue me for wanting the girl to have a good time!" He stormed off to find her, leaving his stunned friends in his wake. He looked everywhere for her, down the street, everywhere downstairs, all in the yard, but she was nowhere to be found. He needed somewhere quiet, a chance to ring her, so he headed up to his room. His head was pounding, he needed to lie down.

When he reached the top of the stairs, he heard voices, and he was ready to storm in and be all pissed off with them, but he stopped and listened when he realised someone was singing.

"_She smiles like a showgirl_

_With the tears of a clown_

_But it's just an act that fades when there's no one else around_

_But do you notice?_

_And do you care?_

_All you see are her plastic looks, and her long dyed blonde hair._

Urch, no that's awful. Let's see.

_I feel rather jealous_

_Though I'd never say it to your face_

_And I feel quite out of place_

_I pull my T-Shirt down to cover my waist_

_Yeah_

_I felt quite insecure_

_About my size, about my looks and about my thighs_

_And that's why you'll never catch me in a pair of skinny jeans_

_And maybe I should stop eating_

_But I think I'm eating up my feelings_

_And it feels good_

_Because I'll never be the girl_

_Who makes your head spin in a whirl_

_Who you dream about, asking out_

_Makes your palms feel sweaty, your legs like spaghetti_

_A good kind of scared, the kind that feels right_

_I find it quite upsetting_

_That I could cry_

_In front of 10 people, and no one asks why_

_That I, could go through a whole day without using my voice_

_And it's really quite worrying_

_That I'd go on msn, and people only talk now and again_

_And when they do its just to ask for help_

_I'll be the woman with 20 cats_

_Who calls all the neighbourhood kids brats_

_And ill chase them away with my broom_

_Because I simply wasn't her_

_The girl that you remember_

_I don't look like the girls in magazines_

_The models of your dreams_

_I don't dress like Kate moss_

_I rarely did get cross_

_I never was the one to get drunk_

_I didn't kiss all the boys, use them as toys_

_So that's justification for treating me like junk?_

_I never was the girl, who was good enough was worth all the fuss, with whom you'll keep in touch, and I guess that's just tough"_

Troy guessed that this was his cue, and knocking on the door first, he stepped in. She jumped off his bed and stood up, facing him, but keeping her fringe over her eyes. He took this as a sign that she'd been crying a lot.

"I know you probably didn't want anyone in here, but there were loads of people looking at me and I couldn't take it, so I came here and I saw the guitar and." The rest of her words were stopped by Troy's chest, as he'd chosen that moment to give her a hug. "Troy?"

"Yeah pay?"

"What if Chad's right. What if Ryan's not waking up because he can't stand to be near me either?"

"That's the biggest load of shit I have ever heard in my life Sharpay. He loves you to pieces, your everything to him. Don't think that." He could feel her shaking, and he guessed correctly that she was sobbing. He pulled her, and sat on the bed with her in his lap.

"I keep seeing it over and over in my head Troy, all the blood on his face. And Daddy's eyes, they just weren't blinking. I felt sick." Troy just sat listening to her, rocking her. She needed to get this out, he knew.

"We were going to get Mothers birthday presents, and we always go together, so we don't get the same things. Daddy was driving, Ryan was in the front, and I was sitting in the back. We were just talking and it didn't feel like anything was wrong, but then a lorry that had lost control hit us head on. I guess I blacked out, because I woke up and I was upside down. There was glass and blood everywhere, and it was getting my eyes, and I was screaming and screaming for help. I could see Dad, his neck was wrong, and it had broken on impact. Ryan was unconscious, and there were people telling me it was ok, I was fine. Then there was a doctor or an EMT or something, and they gave me an injection to calm me down, and to put me to sleep. I woke up again in hospital, and Mother was holding my hand, and she told me about Ryan. I can't do this Troy, I need to go home, take me home." She was crying into his chest, sobbing, her breathing was restricted, her chest felt tight and painful, and soon, yet again she fell asleep in his arms. He tucked her up in his own bed, and then with another kiss on the cheek went downstairs to sort his 'best friend' out.

**_So yeah, now you know! Sorry if this is a bit anti climatic and weak, but its how I saw it happenning. And chad? what a dick!_**

Also I had a chemistry exam today, so you would cheer me up by reviewing :D!

x


	9. Repression

**_Sorry sorry. I have been so busy lately, because I'm doing some major life affecting exams at the moment, so any spare minutes I get, I revise in. I also am rehersing like crazy for my band tour to the montreux jazz festival, where I'll be playing saxophone! So yeah. That also explains why this is sucha weak chapter, but concentrate on the dialogue at the end. I'll say more at the bottom of the page when you read it._**

Sharpay and Ryan sat at the breakfast bar, whilst their dad outlined the details of their day. They were going to the mall first, then the car dealership, then to the restaurant to meet the twins mother for a meal. The pair was turning 17, and as Evans tradition dictates, they were each going to select something really special from the mall, just one item that they wanted more than anything.

They finished their cereal, and put the bowls in the dishwasher, then ran upstairs to get ready. It was the last time that Sharpay had worn her glitzy clothes, and as it was her birthday, she was going all out. A bright pink, floral dress covered in sequins, teamed with patent white ballet pumps was perfect for such an occasion. Her natural curly hair was straightened and pulled back into two pony tails. Ryan was dressed somewhat conservatively, just jeans and a tee shirt, yet ever present was trilby hat. Ryan called shot gun running to the massive car, and leapt into the front seat, whilst a pouting Sharpay settled herself in the back. Their father came, and on the journey to the mall they laughed and talked and teased Ryan about his hat. And Ryan teased Sharpay about her glittery dressed. And they both teased their father about his chequered golf trousers.

Whilst the twins put on airs and graces in school, and acted all bitchy towards their class mates, at home they were perfect. They hardly ever argued with their parents, they helped around the house, and Sharpay didn't treat Ryan like a dog. At the mall, Sharpay chose a charm bracelet; with a silver "S" charm dangling from it. Ryan, of course, chose a new hat.

After grabbing lunch from the food court, they headed back to the car, Sharpay demanding shotgun.

"Oh Sharpay please? My legs are soooooo much longer than yours; I can stretch out in the front!" Ryan was whining in the most annoying voice imaginable, but Sharpay sat in the front anyway, completely ignoring her brother. He climbed into the back, folded his arms and pouted, which greatly amused Sharpay.

"Ooooooh, is Rykins not happy because nasty mean Sharpay stole his seat?" She had turned around to look at him, patting his leg and teasing him in a babyish voice. Their father was silent, concentrating on the road. He had learnt from years of experience that getting involved in his twins fights was futile, it just exacerbated the situation.

"You know what Sharpay? Fuck you." Ryan spat this out whilst staring out of the window. Sharpay was shocked that he'd actually say this to her, but hastily rearranged her features into a haughty pout, resembling her brothers. She folded her arms, and this body language alone should have warned Ryan.

"Excuse me? What did you say?"

"I said fuck you."

"Oh grow up Ryan. Just because I got the front seat, FAIR AND SQUARE does not mean that you have to act like a whiny little bitch.

"I'm the bitch? I'M THE BITCH? Excuse ME! I'm the one who follows you around like some simpering slave, and you know what, I have had enough of it! I have had enough of you, you whore! You know why no one likes you Sharpay? You want to know why you spend every night crying that everyone hates you? It's because you are a mean girl. You are nasty piece of shit that I am fed up of standing up for. You do my head in you fake blonde cu-"

"That is ENOUGH!" Roared their dad. He was pretty free minded and liberal when it came to language, but Ryan had come pretty close to the one word he couldn't stand. "Now I don't know what the hell is going on here, but Sharpay is right Ryan, grow up. You have no right to act like this when all she did was sit in the front seat. Sharpay, Ryan is not your lapdog, stop treating him like it. Now this is your birthday, so act like it, don't spend the day arguing."

Sharpay was bewildered, what the hell _was_ going on? Two minutes ago they were best friends, everything was fine. Ryan knew why she treated people like she did and he was usually fine with it. Ryan would never shout at her like that before. Ryan would never kick up a stink about the front seat. And if he thought that he was going to get away with speaking to her like that then he most certainly had another think coming.

"Ryan, I can't help it that you're feeling a bit repressed at the moment. Just because you're too scared to come out of the closet, doesn't mean that you can take it out on me. I'll still love you even if you are a fag."

These words were met with silence. Sharpay couldn't believe she had actually said that. She knew how touchy Ryan was about his sexuality. He wasn't gay, she knew he wasn't gay, but because he was singing, dancing, acting-machine who had a penchant for pink fedoras everyone assumed he was. He had even been beaten up for it. Their father was clutching the steering wheel so tight his knuckles were white. He dared not to believe his little girl would be so cruel, but he was concentrating too hard on driving to tell her off. And Ryan felt shattered. She would use _that_ against him? His eyes were filling up with tears and his throat tightened. He couldn't even think of a comeback against the blonde girl sitting in the front, he couldn't think about anything except was she'd said. The way she said it so casually made it even worse, so casually, as if she didn't care whether what she said really hurt him or not.

The instant Sharpay heard her won scathing tone, she wanted to grab it and take it back and make sure Ryan never heard. She opened her mouth to apologise, but instead she let out a scream as she saw the truck heading towards their stopped car at the traffic lights. The truck heading towards the left hand side of the car. Where Ryan and her Dad were sitting.

Then everything went black.

**_Sharpay feels horrible because her dads last thought of his daughter was how terrible she was to Ryan. And the last thing she did to Ryan was really hurt him. But then he was being a pig to her, but only because she was a cow to him. I'm talking about farm animals too much here. If you lost interest in this story Im really sorry, but tell me what you think? Thanks for reading my crazy long authors notes!_**


	10. Oh the Drama

**_OOOH, action chapter. Enjoy!_**

* * *

The yelling outside woke Sharpay up, and she was pretty certain that her name was being shouted, so she decided to investigate. Making her way downstairs, she was surprised to find Zeke standing between Chad and Troy with his arms outstretched to separate them as they shouted over him.

"How can you talk to someone like that man? I mean I knew you were always rude, and a bit of a dick, but you were never mean and malicious! You were never a complete and utter wanker!" Troy spat this at Chad, with his teeth clenched. Chad made an effort to punch him, but was restrained by Jason,

"I'm the wanker? What about being brothers Troy. This is just like fucking lava springs all over again. BROS BEFORE HOES MAN. I'm meant to be your best friend, and you're choosing that whore over me?" Chad was shouting, but everyone knew he was hurt. His screaming was just a front; Taylor could tell he wanted to cry.

"Yes, you are. You're a complete wanker. Like I said. Brothers, best friend? Don't make me laugh. When I wanted to audition for the musical, you tried to stop it. When I wanted Gabriella you wanted to stop it. When I had a fucking chance to get a scholarship, you acted like I was betraying you, just because I was doing well. You're a joke Chad. You certainly aren't the guy I grew up with. You've changed. Jealousy is a terrible thing-"Troy didn't get a chance to finish his rant, because Chad had punched him in the face, and Jason had let him.

"Yeah I'm jealous. I'm jealous of the fact that you alienated all your friends, I'm jealous of your perfect hair, I'm jealous of your amazing abilities to make anyone you talk to upset. I'm jealous that you walk around like some fucking king, and no one actually likes you. You're the basketball guy, which is all you'll ever be. Without that you would have nothing. No friends, no _fans_, absolutely nothing. So yeah Troy, I'm ever so jealous." This did it for Troy, who leapt onto Chad, and began hitting him everywhere he could reach. Soon the fight escalated into an all out brawl between the "best friends" who began pummelling each other as hard as they could.

Sharpay couldn't stand to see troy getting hurt just for standing in, so ran in and pulled him off Chad, and dragged him backwards, keeping her arm around his waist whilst he breathed deeply, to stop him attacking Chad again.

"Awwww, look at them. The Drama King and Queen. I hope you're happy with her Troy. You know how she gets. Even her own brother won't wake up from a coma because he's trying to avoid her."

This time it was Sharpay who leapt on Chad, and she fought dirty.

"How dare you say that? HOW FUCKING DARE YOU!! My brother could be BRAINDEAD and you think it's funny? You think it's my fault?! What's wrong with you?!" Sharpay punctuated each word with either a blow, a hair pull, or a nail scratch. Troy stepped in this time, and picked Sharpay up with ease, and pulled her away.

"Again, you gonna take her side?" Chad was on the floor, bleeding from his beatings, and he whispered this through gritted teeth. After he said this there was silence, everyone from the party was staring at the boys.

"There shouldn't be sides Chad. There should be people who need help; you need someone to stick up for them. That's all I did. And if you, any of you think that that is such a bad thing, then I don't want to be on your side, at all." Troy didn't shout this; he said it softly and sadly. Chad was his best friend, had been since kindergarten, and it was gone, it was finished.

"There are sides. And you just chose yours." Chad pulled himself up, and with an arm around zeke, began to limp off. Everyone followed, leaving Troy and Sharpay alone in his yard.

"Troy, I'm so sorry. Their all your friends, you need them. I didn't mean for this to happen." She was unable to look him in the eye, choosing to focus on his hands instead.

"What did you mean to happen Sharpay? After all your years of being a bitch for everyone to forgive you because one bad thing happened? Maybe Chad was right about why Ryan isn't waking up." The moment he said it, the moment he heard her gasp he regretted it. He saw the tears building in her eyes, when he opened his mouth to apologise, she spoke over him.

"Right, ok. If that's how you feel, then I'll just be off. I'll go and get my stuff." She turned on her heel and began running into Troy's house. He could hear her sobs following behind her, and chased her. He grabbed her and held her close to his chest as she cried, yet again.

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I didn't mean it. I was just mad and I know I shouldn't have taken it out on you, I'm sorry. Please don't cry please." He was crying too now, he couldn't bear the thought that he had hurt Sharpay this much. "Just punch me, shout at me. Anything. Be Sharpay."

"I can't troy," She was saying it so quietly; he thought he was imagining it. "I can't fight you because you're all I have. And I was thinking the exact same thing. What if he isn't waking up because he hates me that much?" Her tears overcame her, she couldn't continue.

They stood in his garden, both crying. He covered in cuts and scratches, and red spots that her sure to bruise, and her shaking with sobs.

They weren't Sharpay Evans and Troy Bolton anymore.

They were the lost ones.

**_I think this is a proper DUN DUN DUNNNN moment. But yeah. I wasnt happy writing this chapter, I dont want them to all fall out, but it had to be done for the story._**

**_I'm off to rehearse now, recording a cd tomorrow, grrr. I hate being frigging musical. Should I put in another song for Sharpay?  
Let me know what you think, please review!_**


	11. Just swimming

_**Sorry this took me so long!**_

Ryan's head was swimming. He was lying there, in the most uncomfortable bed known to man. He felt like he was lying on nails. Well not that extreme, perhaps like sleeping on a bed of pebbles, like when you go to a beach that is covered in shingles. His entire body felt stiff, and he had a horrible itch on the bottom of his foot. If he couldn't scratch it soon, he would go entirely mad. He willed his hand to just move down, or his foot to shift slightly so he could rub it against the scratchy hospital sheets, but every time he tried, it was as if his limbs didn't belong to him, like he was playing on his Play station at home. Like when Sharpay thought it would be HILARIOUS to unplug the controllers, so however hard he might try, the characters wouldn't move. They would just stand, and eventually get an arrow through their head from the Mayan god of whatever. But he couldn't just plug himself in.

He felt almost like he was swimming, drowning. He was stuck underwater, he couldn't breathe, he couldn't do anything. He supposed that's why he had tubes everywhere. He wasn't awake very often, and by awake I mean able to think. He could think, he could hear, and he could feel the small hands caressing his own. He just couldn't let anyone know.

He could hear people talking to him every now and again just snippets of conversation. Everything was all muffled, like he had earmuffs on, and he would usually drift back into his state of non thinking whilst people were still talking to him. When he could feel Sharpay's hand stroking his forehead, he could feel her tears hitting his cheek. He could feel his mothers head resting against his chest, listening to his heartbeat and he could feel her soft peck goodnight. It was breaking him to not be able to kiss them back, to tell them he loved them, to give his sister a small hug.

"Ryan you have to wake up. I need you. Please."

That sentence made his heart ache. He was awake, he just couldn't tell her. He couldn't even open his eyes. He sometimes felt like giving up, to just stop trying. But he didn't want to leave without telling Sharpay.

Tonight it was his mum sitting with him, doing the hair stroking and tearful whispering.

"Oh ducky, we are struggling without you. Especially Pay. She went to a party tonight though! It took a lot of cajoling on my behalf to get her there though; she didn't want to leave your side. I'm sure you understand that though. I remember when you were both 8 years old, well of course you were 6 at the same time, your twins! But anyway, Sharpay fell off the swings in the play park, and broke her arm so badly she needed that metal plate, remember? Whilst she was in the hospital, you absolutely refused to leave the hospital until you knew she was ok. And then in school afterwards, you were only just in Albuquerque Elementary and you were still trying to make friends, but obviously you weren't very good at it, being the fantastic New Yorkers you were. But people were teasing Sharpay, and trying to attract her across the room with magnets. She was so upset, but you punched Chad Danforth is it? Yes, you punched him as hard as an 8 year old could, and then you bit him! I was so angry with you Ryan, the principle called me in for my perfect boy! I was in shock. It was near Christmas, and we were going to put up the tree that night, but I said you weren't allowed to help and you had to stay in your bedroom all night. You didn't complain, but when Sharpay told me what had really happened, oh I felt terrible! You always looked out for each other, although I felt sorrier for people who messed with you, imagine having Sharpay out for your blood! She's my 

daughter and I love her more than anything, but my gosh is she scary! Well, she was. She's a bit weak without you love. She's blaming herself for everything. She thinks that you not waking up is you trying to avoid her, she thinks her arguing distracted daddy. She thinks she's the reason he's... he's..." At this point Eleanor Evans broke down, draping herself across her son's chest, staring at his face.

This was too much for him, his mother needed her. He would do whatever he could to be there for his girls. Eleanor saw his eyes flutter, and felt the fingers that she held tightly in her hand twitch slightly. Her boy was coming back.

"Help! HELP! Someone, please?!"

_**Accck! Ryan's coming back! Woo! And I apologise most profusely (how formal!) for the massive delay, but I've been doing my A level exams, and I've just finished, so I can update more often. I also got a pretty nasty flame, and it kind of dented my spirit a bit, oh how corny. I really hope that not too many of you have lost all interest in this, because I really like knowing that my work isn't going unnoticed!**_

_**So yeah, tell me what you think! Id love any opinions on how to take the story further. Thanks! x**_


	12. The wrong idea

Her phone rang.

And rang.

And rang.

And she switched it off.

In Sharpay's head, right now, it was just her and Troy, in his garden. She had stopped sobbing in his arms, and was now able to breathe without hiccupping. It felt good. Yet they still stood, linked together, afraid to let each other go. She finally stepped out of her head, and looked up at Troy.

"Whoa."

"What?! What's wrong? Are you ok? Chad didn't hurt you, like hurt you did he? Oh my god I swear I'll kill him even more. Like before I was only going to kill him a little bit, but now I will kill him dead. I'll take his head-" He was cut off by a giggle, and a finger to his lips.

"Troy, as much as I love the idea of you grinding Chad to a pulp, I was woahing at your face! Shit that sounded wrong. Anyway, we need to clean you up." With this she took his hand and led him into his own house. Turns out, being a dancer makes you very adept at first aid, and she was able to clean up his various wounds, skilfully ignoring any winces, and the muscles of the boy in front of her.

"He got you good didn't he? I didn't think you'd be so easily beaten Troy! " This earned her a crossed-armed-wounded-i'm-not-talking-to-you-but-I'm-only-joking-look from Troy, complete with pout. She laughed, the first true laugh she had done in weeks, and he couldn't help but smile and laugh with her. "Come one, let's go cleaning!!" Troy's house, and garden for that matter, was best compared to a tip. But the tip would be better.

They worked together to clean up the bottles, cans and joints that littered the floor. And bizarrely someone's shoe. Then they moved indoors, putting ornaments the right way, trying to rub the face that someone had drawn on an 'artistic' statue of a man with no face. Sharpay thought it was better that way, but Troy new his mother would flip, so tried EVRYTHING. At the end the man just had a blurred face.

When they finished, they collapsed together on the sofa, and somehow Sharpay's head ended up on Troy's shoulder, and Troy's arm had magically crept around Sharpay's neck. They were watching some corny Disney movie, about some kids in a high school somewhere who kept randomly bursting into song. They both agreed it was lame. Which led to an argument.

"Musicals are sp frigging lame. I mean I had fun doing it, but watching it? Bleh."

"Oh sorry Mr Caveman!! It's art! Just because you don't get points for it, and you don't get girls throwing underwear and showing their breasts to the lead actor in musicals doesn't make them lame!"

"WOAH WOAH WOAH! When were there breasts at a basket ball game? Why did I miss this?"

"Well, it might have been because you were so whipped that if you even though of breasts you'd be assaulted verbally by that shrill voice. Seriously, how did you put up with that? Her voice made me frigging shudder!"

"URGH! I know! But she had a nice arse. Oh, and she had this trick when she would take my-"

"OH MY GOD OH MY GOD OH MY GOD. TOO MUCH INFORMATION! What's wrong with you boy? Why would I ever want to know that! Your disgusti-"

Troy cut her off by kissing her. And it felt awesome. She didn't seem to respond at first, but soon she was getting into it, and it was perfect. With Gabriella, it was too fast, too slow, too hard, too soft, too everything. Nothing was right. But this kiss, this moment. Just being here with Sharpay, there was no other way to describe it. It was just right. Until she pulled away.

"What the hell was that Troy?"

"Well I think it was kiss, how about you?" He knew his answer was sarcastic, but he was confused. That was perfect right? So what was the fuss?

"I can't do this, I can't fucking do this." She started grabbing her things, whilst her voice became more and more hysterical. He stood up, and tried to catch her, get her to talk to him, but each time he tried she shrugged him off with the same strength she showed when attacking Chad.

"What's wrong? Pay? Answer me!"

"WHATS WRONG? My brother is in a fucking coma troy, fighting for his life. My dad just died, and my mother is a wreck, and the only reason she gets up in the morning is to take anti-depressants. And me? I'm, well I was, at a frigging party? How is that not messed up? I'm kissing you, Troy Bolton, who I've been in love with since like second grade, whilst my family is fighting to stay a family?! I can't fucking be here." She was searching for a flip flop, and her hands were flailing and she was crying but Troy didn't do anything. He was stunned.

"You...you love me?" This got her attention. She whirled around to face him, and they stared each other in the eye.

"Yes."

And she walked out of the room.

As she walked to her car, she turned her phone on, and was instantly assaulted by the 45 missed calls, 77 texts, and the answer phone message. Confused, she rang the voicemail service on her phone and listened to the message. And then ran to her car, with her phone still spouting voicemails.

"Sharpay honey? Please answer your phone, oh god. It's Ryan, just get to the hospital as soon as you can. I love you so much baby, I need you here, just please, please, get here soon."

Sharpay mistook her mother's tears of joy, for tears of sadness, and raced to the hospital, in the dead of night with tears streaming down her face.

**Explanation time!**

**It has been months since I updated this, and I am so sorry. I hope I haven't lost anyones support, and I hope I gain more support from newuns reading this! I started a new school in September, and its taken a bit to get used too, but now its awesome. My internet broke, my laptop broke, My hand broke! It seemed that everything wanted me to not finish this story, but I will, I swear! I just need time, and a bit of help and input. **

**So now! I want reviews! Say whatever you want. Well no flames, their just pointless, but I would love people's ideas on the direction of the story, and really what you think of it so far!**

**I'm sorry that I'm an appalling updater, but I will try better.**

**Thanks for sticking with me.**

**And all reviews get a gold star!**


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